I’ve been in the hospital for 6 days. The consensus seems to be that I have an overly cautious and pessimistic doctor who thinks I’m developing preeclampsia. Meanwhile, all my lab results are negative, there is no sign of labor, and my blood pressure is in the normal range. A nurse even tried to reason with him. It didn’t work. I’m here. I’m not going to lie, it’s incredibly frustrating and I’ve spent more than 20 hours crying, but it is time for an attitude adjustment and working on things I can control. Let’s not even get into the fact that I’ve lost control of my own health care.
I read this article today about how happy thoughts can help you be happier. Since my personal happiness is important for the health of the babies, I immediately started instituting some of the ideas… specifically: “Positive Mental Time Travel” and “Being Optimistic, Even to the Point of Delusion.” Positive Mental Time Travel is somewhat obvious, I think back to all the amazing places I’ve been and the good times I’ve had. Favorites include our Grand Canyon Trip in 2012, ski trips up north, or just time at the lake or on the beach. In all of these fantasies, I feel myself mentally transcending my body and I literally feel the happiness I felt at those times permeating through my body. It’s weird, but it feels great.
Delusional optimism involves mental time travel that includes the triplets. Examples include:
It’s 20 years from now. The triplets are fine musicians and performing on stage at Coachella and I’m right there – they give me a bit part playing some instrument. The crowd is loving it!
It’s 5 years from now and we scored a Grand Canyon permit! We bring all of our best friends and have a perfect time – costume parties every night, games at camp, great weather and hikes.
It’s 10 years from now. The triplets have become competent sailors. We decide to sail to Europe for the ski season so the boys can train under Austrian coaching. We spend the fall sailing and traveling and then spend the winter and spring living near Salzburg. We decide to complete our sail by swinging back around Iceland and I show them the Shifting Ice route in April.
The list goes on and on and it’s pretty fun!
Music, also music, like this performance by Solange. The dance moves cheer me up. I think the babies move more when I play this.
I feel better already!